Of Boys And Their Maturity

IMHO boys really get the short end of the stick when it comes to "maturity". In some sense it works to their advantage. When a boy acts up or misbehaves, you can usually get a comment or two about "Oh, he's just a boy...they mature much slower than girls...so they'll be that way for a while."

I'd argue that society measures boys "maturity" against girls. Moreover, for the most part the field of psycology is dominated by women and/or is dominated by feminist thought. My best friend is a shrink, so I'll run this by him. Back to the point.

Measuring the maturity of boys against girls is like measuring the the the taste of an apple against that of an orange, and then berating the apple for not tasting like an orange. It's also a measure of the tolerance of adults - you want a kid who will be quiet and not require your attention, so you can go back to what you were doing.

Sadly, to address this disparity in "maturity" (i.e. to get boys to act like girls) we're calling normal boy behavior Attention Deficit Disorder, and medicating them for it. The medication works wonders, no doubt. The boys settle down and listen. But at what cost? The first generation exposed to drugs such as ritalin is now reaching adulthood, so we have data.

Anyone who has an unbiased source of data on the effects, and side effects of Ritalin, and related drugs?

Enough of that tangent...

I'd contend that were the tables turned...were girls measured against boys, we'd be wondering what's wrong with the girls. They'd be considered too passive and lacking imagination. In school society would be getting on their case for not participating in physical activities, and mentally opting out of math and science. What would we medicate them with?

Of course, this isn't the case, as western culture is heavily dominated by a femnocentric influence. That's a subject for another blog entry by itself!

I also see the discussion of the maturity of boys as an excuse for their bad behavior, or more concisely, an excuse for not properly raising the boy. Yes...it's still primarily a woman's role to raise young children, but men who get involved find it quite rewarding. I'm hoping that as the word spreads, more dads will get involved.

That being said, a woman doesn't know how things work in a mans world, any more than a whiteperson understands how life is in black persons world. This is not a negative comment on women, because the reverse is true - men don't know how things work in a woman's word. A woman can't raise a boy to be a man any more than a man can raise a girl to be a woman. However, this article is about the maturity of boys. Get over it.

Interestingly, it's usually the women who say "Oh...he's just a boy, and everyone knows boys mature slower than girls", and likely a mother at that. In this regard, it's an excuse for bad behavior, and it's women who are far more likely to put up with it.

Sometimes, it is an excuse to prevent Dad from coming in and straightening the kid up, whether a scolding, physical removal from the situation, or some other action to show the boy that he did wrong. Moms are legendary for their willingness to put up with poor behavior of their sons. They rarely allow the same sort of thing from girls.

Does this mean boys are less mature than girls? No...it means boys are given more leeway than girls to act poorly at a young age...you can consider the message this sends to the boys and how this may shape future behaviors. I'm always amazed to see what types of behavior we put up with from young boys, but as a society we're mortified by the same behavior when they get older.